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The Daughter I Didn’t Want

PINIt feels odd saying it, but I didn’t really ever want Isla.  Not Isla specifically, but any second child at all.  My life was going just fine, thank you very much.  My business was doing well, we already had a daughter, and everything was smooth sailing.  Katie had talked about wanting to have another child, but I was not fully on board.  I really liked my life just the way it was and I did not need a disruptor to change that.  What a selfish prick!!  I have friends who would love to have a second child or even a first child but can’t, so I feel like a huge D-hole even admitting this.

So Isla was born and having already weathered an extremely independent and challenging first baby, I knew what I was in for… HELL. Don’t get me wrong, having children is one of the greatest things you’ll ever do, but it is also one of the hardest things you will ever do.  I want to rewind to when Katie told me that she was pregnant with Isla. I was overjoyed but also somewhat trepid as we had had a miscarriage before Isla.  My heart had already been softened to the idea of having a fourth member of our family, so I moved forward with the mindset of “WE WILL MAKE IT WORK.”

So here we are three months into life with the daughter I didn’t want.  All I can say is that life is so much more amazing and meaningful with Isla in it.  She has been such a joy, and to think that I could have robbed our family of that by simply not being open to the possibility, gives me pause.  All the photos in this post would have never existed.  Afton may have never known the joy of having a sister, or a sibling at all.  Who am I to deny her that?

My takeaways:

Be open to possibilities, because you may find that the road leads you on a path that is much better than the safe road you are already on.  Sometimes there are plans in place that are much bigger and better than the one we have for ourselves.  I would’ve been just fine with the way things were, not knowing just how good they could be.  Isla brings a new joy into my life that I would have totally missed out on had I chosen to.

The Lessmore Lesson

My favorite book to read with Afton is The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore.  The main theme of the book and one that I have tried to adapt to my life is that EVERYBODY’S STORY MATTERS.  Isla’s story, the one that is yet to be told, matters a great deal.  This brings me to something that I want to start implementing on my website.  You.  Your story!!  No you don’t have to be a client of mine.  I just want to be able to share the things that folks out there are passionate about.  I want to invite anyone who is passionate about something or feels they have a story to tell to contact me so your story can be told.  You may just journal your thoughts from time to time, or think that there is nothing interesting about your life.  I can tell you that is a lie.  Hit me up and let me know if there is something you want to share with the world.  I have a platform and although it is a small one, the stories that people really want to hear seem to get to the masses.  Don’t hesitate, hit me up, or tell your own story!!
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  • Jane Cooper Harrison

    Beautiful story- I went to high school with your mom Nancy. Beautiful lady – inside and out.ReplyCancel

    • maypa@mac.com

      I couldn’t agree more. She is an amazing, strong woman!!ReplyCancel

  • Carol Skierczynski

    Congratulations … beautiful family pictures. Especially love the Nan and Gene picture with Isla.ReplyCancel

    • maypa@mac.com

      Thanks for stopping by Carol. I was super happy with how the photos turned out. I love the shots of my folks with Isla as well!!ReplyCancel

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