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That Would Be Enough

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The Farm in Candler is one of my favorite wedding venues in the Asheville area.  The lighting is great and everything is all in one centralized location.  Kristen and Matt’s wedding was super fun to be a part of.  I always like sharing a little bit of life knowledge as we are all figuring this out together.  As a musician, I often draw inspiration from music to share in my blog posts.  So enjoy the words, enjoy the photos, grab a beer and enjoy that too (none of the crappy stuff, treat yourself)…

I have been listening to Hamilton, the broadway musical lately nonstop.  It’s what I do when I edit photos these days.  If you haven’t heard of it, you need to jump over to YouTube or Amazon Music and give it a listen.  There are beautiful themes woven throughout and one of the songs/lines I love best is when Eliza says to Alexander, “That would be enough.”  Alexander is seeking to make a name for himself, to leave a legacy, and to rise in the political ranks.  Amidst his ambition, he somewhat neglects his duty to his family to simply be present mentally and physically.  All Eliza wants is for her husband to spend some time with his kids and with her.  That would be enough.  Alexander believes that being poor will somehow lessen the love his wife has for him, when all she really wants is his time and attention.

Matt and Kristen, I witnessed the wedding ceremony and we all promised to support you in your journey together, so these words are my way of passing along some of the lessons I have learned from being a husband for 10 years and a father for 4.  I’m not a fan of cliche’s or telling you that you were meant for each other.  Marriage is hard and amazing and you will need the support of friends, as well as each other.  If you get nothing else out of this post get this:  YOU ARE ENOUGH.  You are good enough, strong enough, beautiful enough, you ARE enough for your partner.  That is why you decided to marry each other.

“We don’t need a legacy, we don’t need money.”

I often think with photography, that I have to make a name for myself, that everyone in Asheville will know the name Andrew May and that AMP will be on the lips of anyone seeking wedding or portrait photography in my area.  Achieving this will not make my wife or my kids love me any more or any less.  I do want to strive to be the best at things, and to set achievable goals, but I don’t want to do it at the cost of time with my family.  Afton was asking me just yesterday to play with her and “be the teacher.”  She loves pretending and playing like she is at school and I am the teacher and she is the special helper.  My first instinct, is to say, “I’ve got to go do some work now sweety.”  It isn’t a full on “no,” but it is my polite way of saying, this work is more important than you.  However, I realized that my little girl is not going to always ask me to be the teacher, or to play with her.  I need to slow down and enjoy her as she is right now.  Work can wait, money can wait.  I am rich because of the love I give and receive from my family.  It is certainly enough.  My hope for every couple I photograph is that they would know that they are certainly enough for the other person.  As flawed as we all are, we all just want to love and to be loved.  I just don’t want to live with the regret that I chased some ambitious dream, only to realize that the dream was actually a 4 year old who wanted her daddy to simply be there for her and engage with her.  Let’s try to live without regret and to carve out quality time with the ones we love the most.

Hair – Lola Salon

Makeup – Blush

Catering/Venue – The Farm In Candler (Catering Mike Ferrari)

Coordinator – Kirin Battaglia

Florist – Occasions by Emily

Cake/Desserts – 50/Fifty

DJ – A Brides DJ

Officiant – Howard Hanger

 
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