Sometimes we say dumb things. Sometimes we say things we don’t actually mean, but why are pregnant women the target of so much ignorant and insulting vocal abuse. It’s almost as if they have a giant sign on their belly that says, “please insult me” or “let’s talk about my body and your thoughts on my body.” Often the worst offenders are people who themselves have had multiple babies. Stop the madness, stop saying stupid shit to these beautiful pregnant women. “You look absolutely beautiful” is about the only thing you need to say, but most often this is what you actually say…
1. “You look like a horse.” WTF!! I am including this one because someone actually said this to my sister. Do not compare a pregnant woman, or any woman to a horse, or any other animal, at any time, EVER, especially straight to their face. It’s incredibly insulting and you should know better. Most pregnant women are too kind to call people out when they make comments like this. They are very aware that they are ganging weight and they do not need to be compared to farm animals.
2. “Are you having twins, triplets, quadruplets?” This is the back handed way of saying you are fat as fuck. You think your being funny, clever, or cute, but you are just pissing off that sweet pregger.
3. “That baby is going to be huge.” What do you even mean by that? That she looks so fat that it’s gonna be hard for her to fit that giant baby out of her vagina? You have no idea what size the baby is going to be, cause you don’t know shit about shit, especially her body or the size of her baby.
4. “You look tired.” Just don’t. You’d be tired too if you were carrying around a human life for almost a full year and your body was stretching out, and you weren’t sleeping and had to do toilet squats every hour because the baby is pressing up against your bladder. Pregnancy is tough enough without you hurling insults.
5. “You’re having a… because…” Don’t guess the gender, just ask. You have a 50/50 chance of getting it right, but most of the time the conversation goes like this. ” You’re having a girl because your carrying so low,” or “you’re having a boy because you’re carrying so wide.” This is what the pregnant woman hears. “You’re having a boy because your ass looks super wide,” or “I’m not sure what’s hanging lower, your belly or your boobs, your definitely having a girl.”
6. “You don’t want to name your child THAT.” I had multiple people say this to me with our first child, Afton. Why is it that people feel they have any say as to what YOU name YOUR child? It’s almost like they think they can change your mind before you have the baby. Most people pick a name for a reason and put a lot of thought into it. They don’t need you shitting all over the name before the child is even born.
7. “Are you pregnant?” This is one you should just ask someone else, see on social media, or make 100% certain she is pregnant before you ask if she is pregnant and she actually isn’t. This makes women feel self conscious and fat and makes you look like an ass.
8. “Your gaining a lot of weight in your…” Guess what, she is supposed to gain weight. Pregnant women are supposed to gain between 25 and 35 pounds, which is a lot of weight. This is for the health of the baby, so back off.
9. “Can I touch your belly?” If she offers great, if not, don’t ask. Belly touching is for family only.
10. “It’s about time.” Pregnancy and getting pregnant can be very challenging. 1 in 3 pregnancies end in a miscarriage, but people don’t really talk about that. We had a miscarriage between Afton and Isla and it was really hard to deal with emotionally. It’s really just callous and hurtful when you say, “man it’s taken you forever to get pregnant.”
If you find yourself saying any of these things, shut up immediately and just say, “you look beautiful,” because that is the only thing a pregnant woman needs to hear from her peers.